A Stone of Hope

As we have traveled on this journey to complete our family, we have been faced with ups, downs, storms and of course some sunshine.  When we first began this journey I was nervous, excited, determined and expecting God to move at MY TIMING.  That's right, I will admit it...I thought that by me having "Super Faith" I believed that God would honor that and move...move at my timing and bring our babies home.  Well I have learned...five years later...that God's ultimate plan is worth waiting for. 

I didn't know then that the Lord would plant a desire of adoption in my heart and allow me to wait on Him to do this adoption the way HE wanted to do it.  See I thought that I had the perfect plan, perfect timing and I was going to be the perfect mom and my husband would be the perfect daddy...in less than a year. Well...as time would tell...the Lord thought he and I needed to learn a little bit more about how faithful HE is and made us wait.  We waited year after year anticipating that God would bless us with a beautiful baby and the Lord taught us how to be patient.  In fact, even as I write this the scripture that says, "Knowing this, the trial of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." 

God is truly faithful.  I was determined not to blog again because I felt as though I had to justify the wait.  I thought people would judge me about the time it is taking for God to bless us with what He has promised.  I didn't want to have to explain how every year God has shown himself to be mighty through whatever mind battle or even emotional roller coaster I felt through the adoption world up and downs.  I didn't want to have to review the process over and over with people who really didn't understand the adoption world, process or simply just didn't understand me.

But God...Over the past couple of months He has been restoring so much joy in this process.  Earlier this year, we were given the opportunity to adopt domestically.  My heart was overjoyed and gave God praise for opening a door.  I didn't expect to go this way but then again I am reminded that "our thoughts are not his thoughts."  Over 10 years ago, I gave my life to a God who loved me, died for me and has never failed me. And because this God that I serve is so mindful of me...He knew exactly the road I would take and made provisions every step of the way.  Now...five years later we are literally so close to bringing home a baby or babies that we have had the privilege of praying for ...longing for...Hoping for...and giving God praise for long before they are in our arms. 

Now we are at the finishing steps for our first adoption and we need to raise the remaining funds.  I am excited because the amount we need to raise is a light thing to God.  I know that since I belong to HIM and our children belong to Him he will provide everything we need.  So as the excitement is overabundant and the hope is bubbling over...I figured NOW was a better time than ever to continue with this journey ...Hope supported by Faith means something totally different to me now than it did when I first named this blog.  But one thing I know for sure is that God is in control and I am grateful to be called His.

At His Feet

"The Lord is nigh to all them that call upon Him, that call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of them that fear Him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them." Psalms 145:18-19

 

  

 

 

While I am snuggled in my bed I couldn't help but think of the millions of children around the world who are crying out to their Heavenly Father to intervene on their behalf. I thought about the children whose prayer is just to be saved....Not for a mommy and daddy but just an earnest desire to be called a Child of God.

 

"Give me you. Everything else can wait. Give me you. I hope I'm not too late. Lord Give me you. Lord Give me you. Lord Give me you. Lord Give me you."

 

 

Because everywhere all over the world God has placed a desire for him in his children's heart. Children who may have never experienced the love of a mother and father....have a yearning of love for their heavenly father, who chose them before the foundation of the world. There is something uniquely wonderful about crying out to the only God that holds all power and yet knows each individual cry, where all of his children are, at any given time, and is able to meet each child in his or her exact spot. 

 

"Give me you. Everything Else can wait. Lord Give me you, I hope I'm not too late. Lord Give me you. Lord Give me you."

 

 

The most amazing feeling is knowing that despite what is going on all around the world, God still reigns and He is in control. Although outward circumstances may seem desolate....inwardly God gives life and power through the Holy Ghost!  And because of this promise.....we are able to bear, cope, deal and have hope in times of trouble.

 

It's me oh Lord, I'm on my knees. Crying out to you! It's me Oh Lord, I'm on my knees...So Give me you!"

 

 

 

 

 

He has been  known throughout generations to generations to be the great I AM. To be everything anyone needs all at the same time.  He is the great I AM. And I am grateful to be called a child of His.

 

"Everything else can wait! Lord give me you! I hope I'm not too late!"

 

 

"Hear O Lord when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.  When thou saidst Seek ye my face; my heart said unto me, Thy Face, Lord will I seek. " 

 

 

 

"Give me you.Everything else can wait. Give me you, Ihope I'm not too late. Lord Give me you. Lord Give me you. Lord Give me you. Lord Give me you. It's me oh Lord, I'm on my knees crying out to you.  It's me oh Lord, I'm on my knees so give me you. Give me you....."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Abba Father

 

"For ye have not recieved the spirit of bondage again to fear, but ye have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

 

This Sunday I will be celebrating Orphan Sunday. Orphan Sunday has become close to my heart and as this previous year has flown by I have met many great people, talked with many orphans, and was able to share God's word and the love of God with many.  God is so faithful! 

 

 

 

Orphan Sunday is a sunday where we pause to remember the millions of orphaned children around the world. Even in the United States countless children are tied up in the foster system awaiting for someone to show them hope, love, and genuine care.  One thing I have noticed over this year of working in ministry and Orphan Sunday is that every child deserves a chance at life and every child deserves to know how big God is and how much he loves each and every one of them.  

 

 

I don't know the mind of God but I do know that He has an expected end for everyone.  I love being a part of this movement because I am able to watch God do some amazing things.  As I spoke with many people throughout the United States and also some accross the seas, I began to realize that Orphan Sunday has become a blessing to me.

 

I found this video on vimeo about a street child in Ethiopia.  Please watch it as it will give many insight to the plight of the orphan, not just in Ethiopia, but all over the world.  Please gather with me and Shawn in prayer for the orphans around the world, that more eyes will be open, and that God makes provisions for those who are caring for these orphans.  If you want more information on how to be apart of this movement please email me! Watch the clip below about Zewdu by clicking on the link.

 

Zewdu the Street Child

 

 

A Prison of Restriction

"Come ye near unto me, hear ye this, I have not spoken in secret from the beginning; from the time that it was, there am I: and now the Lord GOD and his Spirit, hath sent me.Thus saith the LORD thy Redeemer, the Holy one of Israel; I am the LORD thy God which teacheth thee to profit, which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go." Isaiah 48: 16-17

I was thinking today how sometimes our own minds become a prison to our thoughts.  Our minds can enable us from seeing the reality of many different  situations based on our own personal scotomas. Scotomas are blind spots that cover a portion of something that is actually there.  I was reading one of my favorite books today and realized that I have been thinking so restrictively in regards to God's people.  The book is called Kisses from Katie  by Katie Davis and Beth Clark.  The book is about a phenomenal young woman who allowed herself to become found in the purpose that God planned for her life. It is a phenomenal read but more so than that, as I am reading this book it is challenging me to push past my own blind spots to a place of uncomfortability.  In the book Katie explains the needs of people all over the world:

"People are People.  They all need food and water and medicine, but mostly they need love and truth and Jesus.  I can do that.  We can do that.  We can give people food, water, medicine, love, truth, and Jesus.  The same God that created all of us for a purpose, which is to serve Him and to love and care for His people.  It is universal.  We can't do it in our own strength or out of our own resources, but as we follow God to wherever He is leading us, He makes the impossible happen." (Davis, 2011)

I couldn't have explained this journey any better than that excerpt from Katie's book.  The people of Ethiopia are not very much different than us westerners in the United States.  We all have the same basic needs and wants.  And when I began to think about that, I realized that Ethiopia, although separated by an Ocean, is not vastly different from the surroundings that I am familiar with everyday.  I even began to think about the great amount of orphaned children and street children found in Ethiopia.  There, it is very common to see children on the street begging for help. You may even run into a "street child" who has left home or was abandoned and now lives on the streets of Ethiopia.  And I began to think about my experience serving God's children over the years. 

Here, in the United States of America, God has allowed me to minister to children of all ages from every different background.  No, I did not find all of these children wandering the streets but they still had the same need as the children thousands of miles away.....the need to know that Jesus Loves them, Died for them, and wishes to save them.  Once I began to think about this I began to put two and two together.  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever more and He is not bound by a physical location.  He is Everywhere, in Everything and by Him all things exist.  So because of this, I know without a doubt that His eye is even watching the country of Ethiopia. 

This is not about me.  It's not about my wonderful caring husband.  It's not about the pain that I felt when I lost our children.  It's not about my goal of opening a school in a third world country.  It is not even about my desires or expectations.  This journey is truly all about the love that God has for His people.  A love that will cause a petite young lady to bow her own dreams, goals, desires, wants and will to realize that there is a bigger purpose for her life.

9 months!

"Indescribable, uncontainable, You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name You are amazing God!"

We have just celebrated our 9 month anniversary in our adoption journey! How exciting!  We received the call on November 11, 2011 that we were officially accepted into the Ethiopia program at America World Adoption Association.  This date had significant meaning to me.  If you look at the date numerically it would be 11-11-11. The number one is defined as a new beginning spiritually.  A new beginning would definitely describe the journey of adopting our children.

I would have never thought in my wildest dreams that God would allow me to go through a transformation this big.  Now that I am here, I can look back and see that this adoption was in His plans all along.  For many people, adoption just doesn't make sense.  And trust me I get that.  I think that God chooses special people to endure this journey.  It may be difficult for others to understand why anyone would want to travel across the world to adopt a child.  And for those individuals I always say because love is compelling me to trust God with His decisions.  God chose me and Shawn for this journey for some reason and I am grateful that we did not pass up this opportunity.

 I can see how God was preparing Shawn and I for this beginning our first year of marriage.  We had the awesome opportunity of raising a family member for 5 years off and on.  During this time we both learned so much about parenting, protecting, praying, trusting and most of all the love of God. I began to thank God even more during this time for his will not knowing what He had in store for me. 

"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him." 2 Samuel 22:31



During this time I watched God do some amazing things with the young lady who He entrusted us with.  He was able to take a little girl who had lost so much and introduce Himself to her.  From that relationship to now, God has been doing a work on my heart.  I am realizing that family is not just about blood relationships but a family is birthed out of love.   

So now I am here, at a place where I am trusting God with this journey.  Yes I have my hard days where I want to fall apart but something inside of me just won't break.  In this season, I have been fighting with the word of God and also the promises that he has made for me.  For those who are currently adopting and in the waiting process, God knows and His timing is perfect.  It may seem like this is a hard cross to bare, especially when there are so many people who just don't get how and why someone would choose to go through this.  But stay the course!  Be steadfast and unmovable and trust that God has already planned an exit date for this journey.

Through these nine months of trusting God I have noticed that my praise has not wavered.   I have a praise for God that is continually on my lips. I recognize with everyday that passes, I know we are one day closer to holding our babies and bringing them home. Although Adoption has its hard days I will still testify to anyone I speak with, that Adoption is not our second choice of a family, but it was and is our first.  God chooses different paths for everyone and as we continue to push through this phase in my life I will continue to give God  ALL the glory for choosing us for this task.

God is good and He is sustaining us.  9 months and very much excited to see what God is going to do!

All of Me

I completely love this song.  I was reading a blog earlier from a blogger friend who asked for prayer for one of her friends whom experienced bad news regarding a pregnancy.  When I went to her friends page she had this song posted.  As I began to listen to the words I thought this is so fitting because I have been there.  No words can describe or comfort when you hear not so pleasing news regarding the health of your unborn child. I can remember being in that specific spot.  I can remember what I was wearing.  The song that was on the radio in the doctors office.  The look on the doctors face.  But most importantly I can remember the way my heart sank all the way past my toes.

The news was devastating at that point.  I didn't know what to do or say because I never imagined that me and Shawn would have to cope with a situation such as that. At that point in my life I allowed the news of my pregnancy to dictate everything and I do mean everything.  As much as I tried to be my normal self something inside of me changed forever. 

After the loss, I never wanted or thought I would have the experience of being a mother.  I kept telling myself that my nieces and God-children would be it for me.  As much as I kept trying to reassure myself that was all I wanted something inside of me kept bringing up the promise that God had given me years before my loss. The promise that God spoke at that time seemed so unreachable.  I never thought that I could allow myself to become attached to a little one again.  It hurt too much. The pain was unbearable. 

I had no clue that God was doing something in the midst of my pain.  Somewhere along the way, God began to turn my heart-ache into a love for His children.  And that was only the beginning.  He began birthing spiritual things within me.  God began making room for my spiritual gifts to be used for His glory.  I had the wonderful opportunity to teach His children, minister to His chosen people and He even granted me grace to share my testimony to encourage others.  God turned around what I thought was an impossible situation into a glorious testimony.

Now, years later, God has chosen to take my heart towards Him and given me the desire to share it with two babies who have never experienced a mother's love.  It is mind boggling to me.  I never thought that I would open my heart up again after my past but God has chosen this journey for me.  I love this song because it makes me think about our children to come. 

The Lyrics of the song say:

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole
(Chorus)You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you
ChorusHeaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
Chorus (X2)

It's where I'll start

I am so grateful that God knows what is best for my life.  Many people have been asking about this journey and unfortunately I can not explain completely how we got here.  But because God has allowed us this opportunity I refuse to hold anything back.  I trust God with me.  And no matter the time frame, the end date, and how God chooses to wrap it up, it is well with me.  God knows the timing and even knows those two beautiful babies that are set aside just for the Rounds team to love, nurture and raise.  So this next phase of the journey, I plan on tackling with a patient mindset, trusting heart, and prayerful spirit because I choose to give J&J all of me.  Not holding back anything.  Showing them the Love, Grace and Mercy of God.

Unworthy but Adopted

"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." Revelation 5:1

Have you ever just sat and thought about what eternity really looks like?  I mean I know that we speak of eternity often in my house but to picture living in eternity.....wow.  The Lord laid upon my heart Revelation 4 this morning.  When I turned to the scripture the title in my Bible above the chapter said "The Throne in Heaven" I immediately started smiling.  As I read Revelation 4, my spirit became so overwhelmed with joy.  Tears of Joy literally because I know without a shadow of doubt that He is coming back for me.

I have gotten to the point in my life that I recognize that God has chosen me.  He chose me and adopted me into His family.  I am one of the most fortunate people because I bare His name.  There are certain things that He has in store for me just because I am His child.  The greatest thing about God adopting me is that He knew well before I did the plans that He had in store for my life.  He knew that a wayward, naive, spunky, and energetic lost girl would need Him more than life itself.

Adoption is one of the greatest gifts that God gave to me.  To be a part of the body of Christ means the world to me.  I am an heir of God. 

This adoption journey is two fold for me and Shawn.  First we are able to love across borders and boundaries to show two littles that they are worth waiting for.  I want our children to understand that God loves them so much that He decided to use two unlikely people to show forth the heart of God.  God's love is unconditional, ever constant and very patient.  Secondly, this journey is allowing God to perfect Shawn and I even more.  Molding our hearts, Transforming our minds, and conforming our will to be more like His is what we are learning through this journey.  This adoption story is not just a story about J &J but also their mommy and daddy. 

While we are learning to listen to the voice of God directing us daily.  He is preparing us to be exactly what J & J need.  When we told God yes, we meant it wholeheartedly without hesitation.  Why you ask? Well because we are adopted by the great I AM and he has never forsaken His children.  We are enlarging our love to serve like Jesus.